Just Start

So here it is. Finally. A blog from my head – a cathartic exercise in self-analysis, a therapy of type, a contrived mess of characters and punctuation in the wrong place.s

My confidence and ability in writing was always in question in my mind. I was a DRAWER not a WRITER. How could the two ever mix? I mean… I had no education in writing did I, so how dare I even dare? But… my voice is my voice, my thoughts are my thoughts, my ideas my ideas. The hardest thing to do (for the last five years at least) is… start. Just start. ‘START GODDAMIT! DON’T FEAR the unknown!’

…said the voices in my head.

Failing With Style

Everything starts with a blip, a hiccup, one small step. This is where I start – at 44 years old, a publishing career under my belt and three years into a business launch. I’ve never blogged because I didn’t think I had enough to say, or that enough of it was worth anything to anyone. The past year has changed that.

I know now, through hours of soul searching and facing fears of ‘being the average’, that the secret to getting somewhere is to start somewhere else and find that route.

It’s not about producing works of art or ‘crushing it‘ first time – it’s about finding the spirit of preparing to fail, but always failing forward. The important thing is to start and be ready for the bumps, learn from them and next time make the road smoother.

A gem cannot be polished without friction, nor a man perfected without trials – Lucius Annaeus Seneca

I sometimes trust my ‘gut’ and I sometimes don’t. The gut will tell you things your head won’t and they can’t always be explained, but often you’ll kick yourself for not following through. For me there have been countless thoughts and ideas I didn’t follow through with –  and nobody else to blame except my own pontificating self. Oh, sure… what I could have achieved with the Ten Second Film project, back in 2010, before Vine and Instagram were a glint in the milkman’s eye… film scripts left half-written on the shelf… URLs considered, bought, held on to, expired. We can all get in the way of ourselves and the only way through is realising the hurdles are lower than we think.

The past year involved starting to listen to things outside my narrow vision. Ways of seeing and making sense of the world. This is not easy for the world’s biggest cynic.

So here goes…